My cousin and I met some American's two nights ago when we were returning from our dinner with our Uncle. We got to our hotel and decided we would try to score some free drinks at the bar with the guys who work there. I saw a couple guys and heard one speaking english so I asked if they were going to have a drink with us. They were just as stoked as I was that there was another english speaking person in the room. These guys, Brent and Alex, ending up being really cool and funny so my cousin and I accepted their invitation to hit the streets and go to a local bar called Moby Dick. We all sat at the bar and started drinking. Five drinks later, we were all stumbling out of the bar and yelling crazy things like, "no boom boom, just yum yum" and talking mad smack to thirteen year olds with 32 oz. in their hands. They dropped us off back at our hotel safe and sound. This is where the adventure starts. Now, keep in mind it is almost five in the morning and we are in a hotel with no food. I begged them for snacks and I got two slices of wonderbread. Delicious but not enough. I wanted cereal and yogurt and decided no risk was to great in order to get these delicacies. Running onto the street and heading towards the local supermarket called "Disco", a car drives by so I yell, "take us to the market!!!" Car pulls over, so we get in. It's ok, hitch hiking is relatively normal here. Well he takes us to the market and I grab a bunch of ceral and stuff, eat it all and go to sleep.
The next day, yesterday, my cousin and I went to the beach but left after twenty minutes because we were hungover, wanted water/nutrients and because there were way too many jellyfish shits in the water and I did not want my highlight of the vacation to be some kid squatting over me giving me the old golden shower to save me from the pain. Days and nights go pretty much the same here. Sun and fun followed by night time alcohol consumption. We headed back to the hotel to shower up for dinner with our uncle when the night started getting crazy. In the middle of my shower, my cousin starts yelling, "Boluda, the bathroom is flooding!" This bathroom flood was no joke. I don't mean the floor was wet or moist or some pussy water problem like that, there was a good two inches of water lapping againt the bathroom walls. On opening the door, we see that the carpet is sopping wet and reaches to about half the hotel room. Bar runs our into the lobby in her bikini yelling that our hotel room is flooding while I try to rinse the conditioned out of my hair as fast as humanly possible. Well Christian and Jorge come to our rescue and move us two floors up. It was a mess and Barbi's toothbrush got lost in the storm.
The Americans and us met up with a couple of the guys who saved us earlier and decided to go out. We crammed all six of us into a tiny piece of shit french Peugot that had techno blaring out of the speakers; and headed to "La Barra" which is a strip in Uruguay thats just bars. Everyone had on white shirts and none of us understood why. We ended up in the emptiest bar of the all, Indie Bar, and sat down outside where we could people watch. The man who served us looked like he used to be a cowboy. He had a pot belly and a white mustache which both really complemented the bottle of Sauza he was carting around and generously pouring into our glasses. I refused because Sauza is the devil and it will never touch my lips again. The whole evening went really well and the guys were all such gentlemen paying for everything and carrying my cousin on their backs because she cant walk in heels. We got back to the hotel and were all gonna go swimming apparently, but as we pull up the two dudes who work there say they gotta get going. This is when a car pulls up near us and my cousin says something like "oooo boys" so we walk hand in hand to this VW Golf and next thing we know we are all hugging and yelling into the night. Then we hear, "Bye!!" and look and it's all the guys that we had originally come with. What's going on?! Well they all left us because they got mad. Sucks for them. Bar and I left the guys in the car, saying that we didn't want them to come to the hotel with us and that they should just accept the few minutes of life they had with us. What do they do but show up fifteen minutes later at the hotel, where we were conveniently still in the lobby talking to our hotel friends. We fucking freaked. What were they thinking? Well the guy who worked there got them to leave when we gave him "help us" eyes so it all worked out. We headed up stairs at seven in the morning and slept until four in the afternoon because of the lack of sunlight. When we woke up, I realized how fucked up we had been to our American and hotel gentlemen escorts and started to feel bad. But it's ok because karma (plus vodka) made the world right by turning my GI tract into liquid. All is well that ends well.
Tomorrow I leave this country where people breathe money, at least during the summer, and head back to dirty BA for a couple days. Then it's home sweet home where I will get to sport my new $400 winter coat that my Uncle bought me. Now all I need is my Fred Perry shirt and I have achieved my clothing goals as of now.
I had to have one picture of me at the beach.
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